I just really feel like crying right now but I can’t because my roommate would see and ask me what is wrong. And I don’t like being emotional but obviously I am. So I’m letting it out here because I can and I want to. You know those moments that you want to just last forever? The ones that are with someone who is in your mind very special. The ones that make your pulse pound and your stomach lurch (in a good way) all the way up to your throat. Well I always misinterpret those moments. And though they could mean the world to me… They are always just a joke to the other person. Some amusement for them to pass the time. I let myself get too invested in things. I wish I could just pull away but I don’t seem to know how to cut the ties. Anyways… I’m hurting and confused. I’ve been trying so hard to trust the Lord to lead my life the way He wants to, but honestly I’m just terrible at that. I still try way too hard to make things work for myself and to control things myself. I tell myself that I’ll be content being single the rest of my life.. but I don’t think I am… or will. So here it is: I’m giving my heart to You, Lord, I don’t want to be worried anymore about if anyone will ever love me or if I will ever be “good enough”. I only want to think about how much You love me. I want to focus on where that Love will take me. Hold me close because I need to be held right now.